Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Anyone else insane?

My life has consistently focused on what’s next? Rather than focus my energy on the moment, I have always looked to the future.  Wondering, worrying, plotting, and planning for tomorrow.  And the next day.  Rarely have I been able to just focus on there here and now.  I have a tendency to worry, rather than relish.
At 34, I find my mind works a bit differently than it did in my 20’s (thankfully!).  I find myself being less near-sighted and more intrigued by the wealth of potential that surrounds me.  Rather than running past these things, I am learning to stop and experience them.
Who would have thought that running would slow me down, so that I could see all the things I was passing by?
I started my love affair with running about a year ago.  I couldn’t run more than 30 seconds at a time without being convinced that I would die, but I kept at it.  Slowly, I found I was able to run farther and longer.  I’m still convinced I might die at times – especially when the humidity here in GA is full force – but I just keep moving. I’m not fast.  I might not ever be and I am okay with that.
I’m still not sure if I am a “real” runner, but I run and I hear that’s all it takes.
I am constantly drawn to peace I find listening to my feet hit the ground.  My mind clears and I focus on the here and now.  I actually see the people and places around me and it is incredible.  The sights, smells, and feel are amazing.  My body is working, but my mind is so clear.
I focus on right now while working on tomorrow.  I am free.  I am able to plan for a future that involves more than just reacting to the world around me when it crosses into my bubble. I have this insane calling to be where I'm not.  I have such a desire to see what’s next.  
Right after I finish this run, of course.

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